Is Oprah God?

She has given away millions. She has started the nation reading again. For years, she has brought us the stories that made us laugh, cry, and cheer--right there over folded laundry and half-prepared dinners. She is Oprah. In a recent article about this phenomenon was Jamie Foxx's not so tongue- in-cheek assertion that when we all die, we will be waiting for God and discover that it is Oprah! I am guessing that no one takes this too seriously, but the extent of her influence leaves me really unsettled. Believe me, I was once a great Oprah lover. I would sit at her knee and listen with great affection she told me from her big, comfy chair that I was empowered, beautiful, amazing, etc. With every self-affirming thought, though, I could feel myself being lulled into the "If Oprah says it, it must be true" crowd, and quite frankly, I want out!

The ironic thing about Oprah is that she tells us she wants us to be independent, free-thinking, love-giving beings; but the reality is that she wants us to fall in lock step with her thinking. And the sad truth for us is that until we can embrace the universe and all its power and energy with her, we are close-minded, empty shells of being who haven't learned to live yet. She tells me that if I believe in God, then I don't really know God. She tells me that we are all righteous and have no need of a Savior. She tells me that because she has opened her mind, she has discovered that there are many ways to God. So according to Oprah, Jesus is a liar--because what He says is contrary to what she believes. She tells me that if I wince at the thought of a transgendered male having a baby, then I have not fully opened my mind to real diversity. She is generous, but it seems that every generous act is not merely celebrated by the media--it is given full coverage on its own television special!

Well, as I have grown quite comfortable in my own skin, I have found that I am an Oprah disciple gone astray. I do believe in God, and it is this belief, that He loves me and wants the best for my life, that has brought me closer to Him. I have wondered that if we are all righteous on our own, then where do child molesters, rapists, and murderers fit in? And who decides the standard of righteousness--Oprah? I have discovered that it is not okay with me to watch the very unnatural act of a man carrying a baby and say simply, "He deserves to do as he pleases." I have discovered that I, too, believe in generosity, but not the self-aggrandising kind. What ever happened to the quiet gift of love? You remember--the one that was given to bring honor to the recipient, not the giver? Since I have embraced the power of my thoughts, I have discovered that they do not line up with Oprah's. And I have learned that just because she has taken on the role of pontificating from every platform she is given, does not mean that she is right.

Contrary to Oprah's assertions, many of us believe that someday we will have to give an account for our lives. Somehow when I think of all of our life's choices played out before us, I do not think the excuse, "Oprah made me do it," will suffice.

Today, I Start Living

I turn 40 this year, and I recently found out I am expecting our fourth child in October--quite a surprise for a girl who once thought she would never have children. I never wanted to have children beacuse I was married with the crazy idea that all men cheat, and all men leave--eventually. Sadly, I spent the first two years of my marriage bracing myself for this great guy I married to decide I wasn't what he had hoped for and go find someone else. After learning to trust my husband, I realized maybe I wasn't trusting God too much, either. So I prayed this prayer: "God, I want to have the life You want for me." That's right-- I just turned my life over to the hands of God, not realizing the the life God wanted for me would mean facing my deepest fears and insecurities and trusting Him to get me through.

Not too long ago I had this epiphany. As a Christian, I have heard this scripture many times: . . . I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live. (Deut. 30:19) I always thought this choice was a one-time deal. You choose to follow God or not. But it seems to me that the choice to live or die remains before us in everything. How do I spend my time? What do I feed my body? How do I treat others? Do I take chances?

In my fifteen years of marriage (yes, to the same guy who did not leave), I have learned that in each day, in each moment, I have a choice to make--to live or not. I am not talking about ending my life; I'm talking about starting it. Over and over again I get to choose to face fears, to be inconvenienced now for the benefits that lie ahead, to be stretched way beyond what I thought I could physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually handle. Regrettably, I have not always made the best decisions; but because of my better choices, I have faced the fear of being rejected and have decided to love my husband with reckless abandon; I have three amazing children who never cease to challenge my selfishness and leave me in awe; I have left my extended family and my home to embark on the amazing, painful, joyful, unbelievably rewarding adventure of starting a church with my husband; I have tossed aside the need to compare myself to every woman and have gained beautiful, inspiring girlfriends in the process, and I am just getting started!

One of my favorite poems is "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock." Here, the title character looks back on his life with regret because he has always done what was proper and safe. At the end of his life, his sad discovery is that he never really lived. He says, " . . . in short, I was afraid."

So today I turn my back on Prufrock once agian, I decide not to be afraid, and I write.